New Beginnings

Embracing Change

by Cheryl Glover     

Change is often the tallest mountain for us. We fight change, find it difficult, find it one of the most challenging events. The question is why is change so exigent?

The clearest reason is fear. Even if something is currently bad, most people would rather stay in this place than embark on a new adventure that might be worse. Therefore, our expectations and fear of the future hinders us.

It would benefit us from looking closely at this fear. We get too comfortable with jobs, professions we are not happy in, with relationships that do not work for us, with rooms with the wrong Feng Shui, with products that are not optimal, with ideas that do not work for us, just to mention a few. I offer a number of concepts of fear of change that might bear closer scrutiny:

The first step is to look closely at the idea that we deserve to be happy or deserve to have what is best for us. If we do not believe this, then our tendency will be to accept the status quo and not expect to be happy. Do not change; do not rock the boat because if we rock we will fall over. We have created fear out of our belief of not deserving happiness.

Secondly, there is a belief that change is difficult. I would offer here that "not changing" is more difficult. When we do not change for the better we make our lives unhappy. Unhappiness causes depression, fatigue, lack of energy, and makes it difficult for us to accomplish anything. It is difficult to repeat the same mistakes and patterns, continuously. It is difficult to keep ourselves contained into parameters of life because we fear change. It is difficult not to grow, when growth is what life is about. If you were to view someone with a compulsive disorder, you would see the ultimate level of fear of change. Everything has to stay the same or they find themselves unable to cope with life. This is an exaggeration of how most of us are living life. Most of us do the same just at a slower pace, a specific area, or less drastically. For example, while we are not compulsive on small issues, we want everything to stay the same on the big issues. Having been in the Bell System during divestiture I remember people fighting so hard to hold onto the old. It was inevitable, there was no choice, but it didn't matter, the resistance was the most difficult. It was much easier to change with the times. This resistance is often unconscious for most of us. We do not understand that our subconscious fears drive away the new opportunity, the new relationship, the new and better life. Our inner ego thinks it is protecting us, but what it is really doing is keeping us from moving forward to the best we can be.

Thirdly, some believe "this is the hand we are dealt," and we are not supposed to change it. There is some validity to understand that I will never be the "American Idol" or "Miss American.” Furthermore, we have seen many people who do not understand this. On the other hand, maybe I do NOT know all my talents and true potential. For example, my constant B+ in writing classes in college did not stop me from writing a book. (Although I drove my editors crazy.)--A challenge, yes, but not a handicap. However, to become an American Idol would take surgery. (You see my point.)  Many hidden talents are overlooked because of the belief that "it is as good as it gets," without exploring our full potential. Furthermore, if you do not explore past the dealt hand you may never find your true self and true path. On the other hand, if you do not have a natural talent you cannot force life into a mold. What we are left with is: if it's a lemon then make lemonade, and if it is a cherry then grow it.

Our fourth idea, is that of "fear of the future." This usually comes from fear of the past. Rejection in the past becomes fear of rejection in the future. A bad relationship in the past becomes fear of relationship. Lack of prosperity in the past becomes a lack of attempt to change prosperity in the future. The unhealed event has impressed on us a fear and impotence at dealing with the event in the current or the future. The issue at hand is learning to heal these events, so we can move onto a better life.

Healing these events can take the following forms:

1) Go back into the event and be willing to feel all the pain associated with the event. This is based on the premise that our resistance to the real pain left an unfinished impression on us and we are still resisting this type of pain in the past and in the future.

2) Search out your misconceptions or beliefs around change: it is difficult, I don't deserve it, It may get worse if I change, I'll lose, etc. This can be done by journaling and doing a written meditation. Finding these misconceptions can immediately bring about results. Merely bringing the hidden subconscious beliefs into consciousness and into the Light can disarm them.

3) Change something: a chair, your desk, a color, your hair. Start changing things until you become more comfortable with change. Make change your friend. Make changing a friendly event. Make it an adventure. The more comfortable you become the more you will be able to embrace change.

Ever changing with Light & Love to you,  Cheryl